Forgive and Forget
by Rain204
Summary: A little something that poped up in my head a while ago. Cloud/Zack.


Disclamer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII story line or it's caracters it all belongs to Square enix

AN: All right, this is my first story and I would like to point out that english is not my first language so there will probably be some stupid mistake and I'm sorry for it. That being said enjoy!

Forgive and Forget

"_Take my memories, my dreams and my honor and live. Live for the both of us._"

That's all Cloud could think of as he made his way to the top of the cliff where Zack's grave was raised. He remembered it like it was yesterday really. At least the little bit he could. The rocking of the truck ont the road of dirt; Zack talking to him as usual; the sound of his voice; the shot and then nothing. Total silence. The blonf couldn't help but think that if he hadn't been there Zack wouldn't have been distracted. He would have been more focus like the first class SOLDIER that he was. Cloud knew that he would have been able to dodge the shot that killed him.

Yes he blamed himself. No matter what the others would say if they knew his thoughts. The thing is that he knew his friends forgave everything he did while he was under Sephiroth's control and he knew that Zack probably even blame him for anything but he just couldn't forgive himself. Forgive his own sins.

He chuckled has he arrived at the rusting buster sword. Another one of his sins; he just couldn't make a good grave for his best friend. All he could do was letting Zack's favorite sword rust as the elements attacked it. He just couldn't bring himself to change though.

"_Take my memories, my dreams and my honor and live. Live for the both of us._"

Those words still hunted the blond; even today. When Tifa helped him regain his memories three years ago; or at least a part of it, he wanted to know. He truly wanted to figure out who he really was: until he remembered Zack. Every one of his friends thought he forgot because of Hojo's err..."Tender Care", That he was so messed up because of the experiments. Cloud could admit that they wheren't totally wrong, but, even though he knew bette, he let them think it was only because of that. What he knew that the others didn't was that he wanted to forget back then. How could he not really? He may have been 21 years old physically but in his mind he was still sixteen. Zack was his mentor, his best friend and, though the black haired SOLDIER never knew about it, the man that he was in love with.

Cloud never told anyone about this little bit of information. Before Nibelheim Zack was in love with Aeris after all and even if he wasn't, Cloud had still been under age. The violet eyed man wouldn't have done anything to risk the youger man's chances of achieving his dream of becoming SOLDIER one day, so the blond never spoke of his feelings for the man and was just happy to have him as a friend.

That's why, after Zack's death, he couldn't take th loss of his best friend, of his love. It was just too much. He wanted to forget and tosay he knew that the power of the mind can be as strong as the power of an arm. There for he forgot. That's what he wanted, at least until he was ready to move on. Of course he couldn't completly forget him. Subconsciously he tool the last words of his mentor to heart, maybe a little too much. In the end he took what he knew of Zack. His memories, his dreams, his honor; his personnality and copied it unto himself.

Cloud let out a humorless laugh. Somehow he knew that it probably wasn't what Zack ment when he said those words.

Anyhow, now the blond ex-SOLDIER knew that it was stupid, more like impossible, to move on from Zack. Oh he tried, after the Kadaj episode, but he just could not. He said his good byes to Marlene, Denzel and Tifa. Strangely enough Denzel and Marlene took it rather well. Tifa took it the worst though. Cloud believed that she still thought that he was stuck on Aeris. How wrong she was.

Before he couldn't forgive so he forgot, now he couldn't even do that. He _wouldn't_ let himself do that. Forgetting will not be a sin he would repeat.

Cloud gently touched the handel of the buster sword.

Forgive and forget; the saying goes. He couldn't forgive and he couldn't forget. He suposed he would have to live with all of it now. The sadness and the pain of his memories. That would be his redemption, but for that he would need to remember everything he forgot.

Cloud made his way to Fenrir. He had to go, palces to be, people to see and memories to regain. Has he left, he didn't saw a black haired, violet eyes man appear besid the buster sword. he was to far away and the wind was not fast enough to bring the words that the young man said, but it didn't matter, he still spoke them.

"_ Good luck Spike. I love you and I will be waiting for you on the other side, when you'll be ready. _"

AN: okay! that was shorter then I tought it would be but I don't really want to change it. Tell me if you like please.


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